I’d like to start off with a quick recap of some obvious statements, just so we’re all on the same page.

  1. If you haven’t seen Wonder Woman yet, you should.  
  2. Something like Wonder Woman should really be seen opening weekend, to reflect better on their numbers.  More $$$=more Wonder Woman movies.  But I guess they didn’t really need your help after all.
  3. Previous DC movies were disappointing.  Maybe you don’t want to say they were awful, but I’m fairly certain that most DC fans can all settle on “disappointing.”

Okay.  With that in mind, let’s jump into the nine stages of seeing Wonder Woman.

1) “Alright, try not to expect too much… Remember every other DC film…”

While watching the previews, go ahead and remind yourself of some standard movie-going wisdom.  You shouldn’t go into any film with high expectations, but especially a DC film.  Now, I’m a DC fan, but remember Statement 3?  So, regardless of the outcome, I stand by my decision to prepare myself for the worst, and you should to.  I mean, the rest of the article is going to make that really difficult, but no one reads all the way through these things anyway.

2) “Oh, cool, we’re going to get to see the whole origin story…”

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The beginning is just brimming with destiny, which normally wouldn’t be that big of a deal, but this time our protagonist is a female.  I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but movies do a horrible job of giving women a fulfilling purpose besides romance.  Wonder Woman, on the other hand, makes it very clear from the beginning that our heroine is destined for bigger things.  Delusions of grandeur shouldn’t be restricted to only little boys; we need to see women attempt the impossible too.

3) “Oh, we’re still on the Island…”

The exposition is long.  Needed, I get it.  Especially since DC has struggled with character backstories before (looking at you, Suicide Squad), it’s nice to see Diana’s origins get their due diligence.  But when you’re sitting there waiting for Diana to kick some ass, it sure does seem drag on.

4) “Damn, Chris Pine is really nailing this.”

 

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Steve Trevor doesn’t tear up the battlefield like Diana does, but that’s not really a mark against the dude.  It’s hard to match up to an Amazon, after all.  But from the first appearance of Chris Pine, he slides effortlessly into his role of the movie.  He is not Diana’s opposite, but he’s still the yin to her yang, the fry for her Frosty, the totally valid and helpful sidekick. He is impossibly likeable from start to finish.

5) *Laugh at Diana’s Ignorance over English Customs*

 

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That’s pretty much it. Still entertaining, but I don’t have a lot else to add here.

6) “YES!”

 

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Much-awaited battle scenes begin now. This is where Wonder Woman really cemented itself as a must-see for me.  These beginning battle scenes do not disappoint.  They are everything that you could want from a Wonder Woman movie.  Bask in this moment of glory.  Revel in the chills that run up your arm at Diana’s undeniable competence.  Enjoy the scene, alright, because as hard as Hollywood tries, their battle scenes are rarely this badass.

7) “What, they’re going to actually develop the characters?!”

 

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A lot of action movies rely on the innate charisma of their leading actors to carry whatever explosions and funny one-liners can’t cover.  Wonder Woman doesn’t do this.  It is still a superhero movie, not an intense social drama, so don’t expect fanfiction-length revelations.  Maybe “develop” is too strong a word.  For what it is, there is a remarkable amount of character reveal, and that’s a step forward for DC.

8) PLOT PLOT PLOT PLOT PLOT

 

(via Giphy)

I said that this would be spoiler-free, so I won’t go any further.  Just know that there is more hair-raising moments of inspiring action, a couple laughs, and that just enough comes together to leave you satisfied.  When the falling action rolls around, you won’t regret the $10 you spent on a ticket.  Look, is there a M. Night Shyamalan-level twist? Hardly, but you can tell that a five-year old didn’t write the script.  It doesn’t resort to the Giant Beam of Light in the Sky as the impending threat.  But realize what  you came for, and that not every movie can or even should have a deep, twisting plot.

9) “That’s really what they’re going to end it with? Okay…”

I have a slight issue with the ending shot.  You’ll know it when you see it.  Just a small issue, but thank God the credit sequence is amazing because I wouldn’t want that frame as my last impression of the movie.So, yes,  Wonder Woman is worth seeing and then some.  It fulfills every checkmark that superhero movie should; it sets the bar for all future superheroines.  It showed that movies about women can make money, and that men are remarkably still interested in a film even if it stars a girl.  Less importantly, but still noteworthy, it breaks the DC streak of disappointment!  If all these factors don’t make it a success, I’m not sure what is.

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